Make the commitment

February 27, 2010

Washi on the Wall

Field of Dreams

It’s hard to write; it hurts to write; it’s troublesome to write; it’s bothersome to write. It’s such a commitment!

Yeah, so?

I’m finding that the more I’m willing to commit, the more I’m able to get down on the paper (or the screen); the more I’m willing to write deadlines down, the more I find myself getting something accomplished.

My goals this month were to finish a short script that has been gnawing away at my imagination for the last two years, as well as to get my dramatic feature into presentable shape to have it critiqued. Well, with one more day in the year, I think I’ve done that. But it did not come without a lot of procrastinating, nail-biting, running away, housecleaning, eating snacks, “forgetting,” denying, fighting, arguing… you know, the whole gamut of human emotions and excuses.

And yet, the thing is… once I actually “get into” the writing… I feel transported and thrilled and alive. I love writing. It frees my mind, it makes me better, stronger, smarter, more sophisticated… it taps into vast wells of dreams and colors and memories and fantasies… there is so much to say, and so little time to say it… maybe that’s what I’m afraid of. How can I get it all down when I know I’ll never be able to?

Make the commitment. That is a start.

Though my looking-glass is cloudy with the mist of a dying winter… I can just make out the words, “Make the commitment…”

This is what I see in my looking-glass today, tucked away in my quiet corner of Tokyo, far removed from everything and everyone I ever knew…


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